


Ardor

by MapToWhereIAlreadyAm



Series: Maybe. Perhaps. Possibly [2]
Category: Star Wars: A New Dawn - John Jackson Miller, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Dry Humping, F/M, First Time, Intercrural Sex, My First Smut, Oral Sex, Pre-Star Wars: Rebels, Public Displays, Sexual Content, Shower Sex, post-A New Dawn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-28 11:15:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8443744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MapToWhereIAlreadyAm/pseuds/MapToWhereIAlreadyAm
Summary: Celebrating an op well done, Hera crosses a line in a very public way. Kanan is swept up by the force of nature that is Hera, working as always to help her to achieve her goals. Kanan’s tactical to Hera’s strategic.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to HLine for beta reading!  
>    
> This story was inspired from a [writing prompt](http://cyndermizuki.tumblr.com/post/148479547655/post-and-kanera-prompt) on Tumblr by Cyndermizuki for “Something leads to Kanan daring Hera to kiss him (or vice-versa) not really expecting her to actually go for it, buuuut Hera is competitive and this is a perfect excuse for her. This leads to their first spontaneous drawn out makeout session.”
> 
>  
> 
> This is the second in the series, but was written first.
> 
> This originally appeared on Tumblr.

Of all the things Kanan had imagined Hera’s lips tasting like (and he had imagined quite a bit), cheap whisky and victory were not on the list.

 

The victory came from a recent op. Fulcrum had tipped them off that a droid was carrying some critical intel valuable to someone deep within the Rebellion. They’d never actually learned the exact nature of that information - at least, he hadn’t. Hera probably knew, but Kanan had been working with her long enough to learn to trust her - and to not ask too many questions.  They had managed to track the droid to an Imperial freighter leaving Onderon, and successfully grabbed it, wiped its memory, and performed  a perfect extraction, all with nary a scratch.

 

Was victory ever sweet..

 

The alcohol was from a celebratory round of drinks purchased by a  gang of pirates in honor of said victory.

 

Pirates, bounty hunters, smugglers - Kanan had flirted with the underworld in the past. But with time, he had come to realize the dangers of drawing unwanted attention-especially the Imperial kind that came from associating with organized crime. When Hera had suggested they work with this gang to take the Imperial ship in deep space, Kanan had protested. He was wary of collaborating with folks who would as soon turn you in for a bounty as to partner with you on a pirating gig.

 

But Hera reasoned they had the expertise and manpower to get the two of them on board, while she had a detailed shipping manifest that, if procured and liquidated, would make a small fortune on the black market. That had certainly piqued the pirates’ interest. In the end, of course, he acquiesced. She was impossible for him to say no to. So, now, they found themselves rubbing shoulders with a shady group of individuals and celebrating with shots of whisky.

 

Whether it was due to the undercurrent of unease he felt around these roughnecks or his increasing willingness to follow Hera towards trouble, he found the whisky tasted undeniably of danger.

 

***

_ Earlier _

 

Kanan eyed the shot glasses as they slid across the table. When he left Gorse with Hera, his fast and loose lifestyle had remained behind.  He was reluctant to engage in activities that would endanger her hard-earned trust in him. But one drink in the company of these “allies” seemed like a gesture of good faith. He could have a drink for the both of them; everyone would shake hands, and he and Hera could be on their way.

 

He glanced at Hera as he weighed his choices. He was trying to gauge her reaction to the round of drinks, when her hand darted forward, grabbing a glass. She downed it quickly, gave a little cough, and slapped it back on the table. Kanan couldn’t recall ever seeing Hera drink, as long as he had known her. And that  _ was  _ saying something, given the amount of time they spent in cantinas - meeting Hera’s contacts, gathering intel on the local scene, or taking a break from the familiarity of the Ghost. But it seemed that the high of a successful operation and the prospect of a shared glass among their co-conspirators was enough to persuade her.  

 

Kanan changed course, pushing his glass towards the pirate sitting next to him. His intuition had shifted gears when Hera started drinking.  Given their present company,one of the two of them staying stone cold sober seemed wise. 

 

Fortunately, no one noticed that he wasn’t participating. He scanned the table as he overheard snippets of conversations typical of any watering hole in the galaxy - gossip, rumors, bragging, complaining. It was oddly reassuring.

 

A Theelin sitting next to Kanan tried to engage him in conversation. “She your girl?” He gestured towards Hera.

 

Kanan laughed uneasily at the man’s bluntness. “Uh, no, just my boss.” 

 

He immediately wished he had said yes. He could feel the man sizing up Hera in a predatory manner. Kanan had meant to diffuse any innuendo that might have come up about the two of them working together, but instead, he had given the pirate an opening to… To what exactly? It wasn’t as if Kanan had any say in Hera’s love life. Still, he felt confident that she wasn’t interested in this sleemo.

 

He snuck a glance at her. She seemed to have missed the exchange, engaged in a conversation about the day’s exploits with a human sitting on her other side.

 

A Devaronian had overheard Kanan’s conversation though and shared his opinion with the Theelin. “No way they’re a couple. No chemistry. You can tell by the way they look at each other.”

 

“Like you know relationships, you romantic,” the Theelin replied, shaking his head.

 

“No, seriously. Watch.” The Devaronian turned to the Weequay pirate next to him. He cleared his throat to get her attention before transforming. A smoldering look passed over his features. His fingers trailed down her cheek, as he pulled her close. Their eyes locked, and his head dipped close to hers. He broke it off, releasing her, and said, “See? That’s how you know there’s chemistry. How you look at each other.”

 

The Weequay’s arm shot out and caught him square across the jaw. He fell to the ground with a thump, clutching his chin. The whole table broke out in raucous laughter.

 

Kanan was uncomfortable at this point. It was obvious that drinking had been going on before their arrival at the bar.  

 

The Devaronian was working his jaw with his hand, chuckling at his girlfriend's aggression. When he had recovered enough, he continued. “No, watch her.” He nodded towards Hera. “She’s showing... nothing. He might… maybe…” he shook his hand an iffy motion. “But it would take a lot more alcohol to get them to kiss.”

 

A man from the other side of the table piped up. “He could kiss me.”

 

“Shut up, flirt!” Someone else shot back.

 

Kanan glanced at Hera. She was listening now, and he couldn’t read her expression. He clenched his fists. This had crossed a line at some point, and he wasn’t sure when, or how - he just knew that it wasn’t going to end well. He weighed his options. Who to go after first, where the exits were, and how to signal Hera...

 

“So, Hera? Does he have it right? You got anything for your partner here or are you just using him to screw the Empire instead?”

 

Kanan held his breath, waiting for her response, knowing that he needed to be ready to spring. Silently, he grasped the edge of the table; he would flip it if things got ugly. His other hand moved towards his blaster. Hera wasn’t quick to act out, but she also wasn’t interested in the kind of attention she could draw. She would be direct in laying out her boundaries. Ready for battle, he turned to her for the signal...

 

What he didn’t expect was playful Hera.  She rolled her eyes and said, “You guys are so sure you know what’s going on in a woman’s heart. Watch and learn.”

 

He turned to her wondering what she was playing at. She grabbed his shoulders to spin him to face her and then kissed him.

 

And that’s how he learned her lips tasted of whisky and victory.

 

His hands rose in the air of their own accord and hung there. Whether to push Hera away or hold her close, he had no idea.  Her lips were stiff, but then again so were his. Her eyes were closed, but he knew this because his were open and wide in surprise. Her fingers dug into his shoulders. It was the most awkward kiss he had ever experienced, and he hoped it wouldn’t end.

 

Cheers erupted when she first made her move. And Kanan had the sudden insight that she was diffusing the situation with playfulness. She had established that she could roll with the group and signaled that she was off the playing field. All without resorting to aggression. She knew him well enough that he wouldn’t complain about taking one for the team. He was impressed and relieved.

 

But the mood started shifting in the crowd.

 

“I kiss my sister that way!”

 

“I’ve seen more chemistry in mating slugs.”

 

“Boring! Slip him some tongue!”

 

Hera pulled away, to glare at the room. Kanan was trying to remember to breathe. And to put his hands down. And to stop staring at her.

 

“Kiss him like you mean it!” He heard someone say.

 

Hera’s jaw was set and her brows drawn. The look of determination. Someone was going to get it, and Kanan wasn’t sure who it was. He gulped when she turned her gaze to him and rose from her chair to stand over him.

 

“Hera, please …” he started to say, but he was unsure how to finish.

 

_ Hera, please, you don’t have to do this? _

_ Hera, please, kiss me? _

_ Hera, please, don't play with me?   _

 

He didn’t know what to say so he remained silent.

 

She was looking at him now, with a hunger that made him afraid. It was danger, pure and simple. He was sitting at the end of the bench and she swung her leg across his, settling onto his lap. He sat back reflexively from her overture. She reached up behind his head, her hands loosening and tangling in his hair. She gripped it with an intensity that matched the look in her eyes. Surely everyone present could hear his heart pounding.

 

“Oh yeah, this is gonna be good.” Someone in the crowd said.

 

A chant started, slow at first, complete with hands pounding the table. “Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.”

 

Hera’s eyes searched his, but her hungry look remained.“You can say no,” she whispered.

 

Kanan nodded that he understood, but he could no more say no to her than to will his breath to stop. Not that he wanted to, but he also wasn’t ashamed to admit he was terrified.

 

Hera put pressure on the back of his head, drawing them closer as she cocked her head a fraction. Her gaze dropped to his lips, and they paused a hairsbreadth apart. He could smell the whisky, and something he suspected was the natural, underlying sweetness of her breath. He had never been close enough to detect it. The realization of this intimacy sent a thrill through his already on edge nerves.

 

Kanan waited for her to continue but she hovered there.  Lashes lowered. Gentle breaths against his mouth. Her hold softened from a fierceness into a caress. With a dawning realization that she was waiting for him, to give him one last out if he wanted to take it, his eyes fluttered shut. He took the plunge and closed the distance between them.

 

He kissed her. And she kissed him.

 

The first time the kiss had been tight and fervent and impersonal. This kiss was the exact opposite - gentle and yielding and visceral. Kanan parted his lips at some point. He felt the heat and wetness in her mouth. Her tongue met with his own.

 

Time stopped and only now existed. It was like this when Kanan was one with the Force. It had been eons since he felt this level of intimacy, making a connection to all living things. Now, it was just Hera. With her mouth. Her heat. Her spirit.  They were just two beings bearing their souls with a kiss.

 

Kanan was vaguely aware that the chanting had crescendoed into more cheers. As the kiss lengthed, he heard a wolf whistle. There were more voices, but he couldn’t make out any of the words. His hands had moved from his sides to her waist. Then as it deepened, he wrapped his arms around her completely. He pulled her into him, the softness and smallness of her body surprising against his own.

 

Both her hands tussled his hair now, gripping his scalp, belying that this could not be play acting. Her actions were too intense, too perfect to be anything but genuine desire. This realization sent another shiver through him. He wondered if she felt his arousal for her.  When her hips twitched against his, he knew she did, and he moaned into the kiss.

 

He wasn’t sure how long the kiss went on for, but at some point, she broke off long enough to breathe, then shoved him backwards. His Theelin neighbor must have cleared out, as Kanan found himself reclined on the bench with Hera sprawled on top of him. The table provided a modicum of privacy. She made use of the cover to let her hands roam, tugging at his shirt to get to his bare skin. His hand cupped the back of her head while tasting the skin on her neck.

 

The mob seemed to have lost interest in the two of them. The onlookers had gotten what they wanted, and now it was just awkward to gawk at the couple. The Devaronian was the last to leave. “Hey, you two. Get a room already!” he said with a chuckle before wandering off to find his friends.

 

Hera pulled away just enough to break off from Kanan's kisses. Her eyes searched his.

 

“How do we do that?” she asked, her voice breathy from the makeout session.

 

Kanan froze.  

 

She was serious.

 

Oh, yes, cheap whisky tasted very, very, dangerous.


	2. Chapter 2

Of all the sounds Kanan fantasized Hera making when climaxing, and his list was fairly exhaustive, silence wasn’t near the top. He found her voice incredibly sensual after all. So perhaps he could be forgiven for being surprised when she orgasmed without making a sound.

 

Kanan would come to realize that her silence was a warning, signaling something shifting, something important, and he should be ready when those moments came.

 

But before Hera came with a tremor in his arms, they went in search of a room.  

 

***

 

_ Earlier _

 

“You’re serious?” he asked, looking intently up at her, surprise evident in his voice. “About wanting a room?”

 

“Yes.” Her brows quirked as if it was obvious. “Public displays aren’t one of my turn-ons.”

 

As much as Kanan wanted to pursue that line of thinking, considering every single one of Hera’s turn-ons would have to wait for another time. She wanted a room, and that took precedence. He would do whatever it took to get her that privacy.

 

With him.

 

“Wait here.” Kanan nudged Hera off of him, feeling conflicted about it. She was pressed closer to him than he ever allowed himself to entertain seriously. But the promise of a soft bed and privacy and the time to explore each other kept every nerve humming in his body. He gave her one last lingering kiss and parted from her.

 

He headed towards the front of the bar where a Rodian was talking to a bouncer. She exuded authority. Kanan was pretty sure she was the proprietor of this establishment.

 

“I’d like a room for the night.”

 

The woman turned to Kanan. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought she might have glanced at Hera. Their kissing had not gone unnoticed beyond the circle of pirates.

 

“You and half of the Outer Rim, loverboy. All my rooms are taken.”

 

Kanan frowned. Ok, he could work with this.

 

“You could try the other two inns here.” she suggested.

 

Here was a tiny, dusty outpost of a settlement. It resided in a system whose primary characteristic was not having an Imperial presence.  Offering a watering hole and a fueling stop, it was the halfway point on a hyperspace lane.  Folks with questionable occupations met up here before hurrying on, searching for more lucrative or happening places.

 

Hera looked up when he returned. Kanan felt the bottom drop out of his stomach at the look in her eyes. Pent up desire, hope, and something that he interpreted as trust. The Force help him. He had no idea how he was going to make it through this evening.

 

He took her hand. “C’mon let’s go.” She followed him, a gust of wind blasting them when they stepped out of the door. A storm was brewing.

 

“Where are we going?” She had to raise her voice.

 

“Back to the ship. They’re out of rooms.”

 

Hera stopped short, jerking Kanan with her, but she didn’t drop his hand. “No. Not the Ghost.”

 

“But it’s right there?” He gestured past the end of the dirty street. The outpost was too small to have an official spaceport, just a fenced area where various starships parked on the packed dirt.

 

“No.” She said simply not elaborating.

 

Kanan pursed his lips, considering, then nodded and headed back in the other direction. They could try one of the other two establishments here. There were a couple of alleys and one main road. They should be able to to find an inn.

 

Hera’s hand was still in his own, and she didn’t seem disinclined to drop it. He marveled that he was walking anywhere holding her hand, wishing for the feel of her skin and not her gloves. He realized soon he would be able to feel so much more of her skin than just her hands and shivered in anticipation.

 

Hera’s hand tightened her grip on his. He raised his brow in question.  She stiffened before retreating backward, pulling him with her into a shadowy recess between two buildings.

 

“Kiss me.” Her voice was urgent, and she yanked on the strap securing his armor. He stumbled into her.

 

Kanan was having a hard time thinking straight - the kissing, hand holding, her assertiveness. After months of restrained longing for Hera, things seemed to have changed in a matter of minutes, and it was disorienting. When she told him to do something, something that aligned with his desires, he wasn’t going to stop and argue. He kissed her. Her mouth parted, and he deepened it with his tongue. A moan escaped from someone, although he wasn’t sure who.

 

Hera was pressed back against the wall. He couldn't wrap his arms around her, so he cradled a hand around her neck, his thumb running along her jaw. His other hand found her lekku and stroked it in long steady movements. She wrapped a leg over his, hooking her toe behind his knee. Her arms pulled him close until there was no space left between them. They kissed for what seemed like an eternity that was over in an instant as Hera broke it off.

 

“You know, I’m detecting a definite ‘yes.'” Kanan said between breaths. “But getting mixed signals on the where. ‘A room’, but ‘not the Ghost’. ‘No public displays’ then ‘kiss me now.'”

 

Hera let out a shaky laugh. “Sorry.”

 

She was peering over Kanan’s shoulder. He turned to see what she was looking at. “No, don’t!” She said pulling his head back to face her again.

 

He rested his forehead against hers. “Ok,” he gave Hera a small smile. “What is it?”

 

“Someone I know. A contact. Khrast Rudo. The one who put me in touch with the pirates. He’s here. The few times I’ve met him, well, he doesn’t know how to take a hint.”

 

Kanan tucked his head and pressed even closer into Hera, carefully glancing over his shoulder. There were a couple of people talking on the far side of the street, just past a cluster of parked speeder bikes. “Which one?”

 

“The human.”

 

Kanan nodded then looked at Hera again. Their faces were so close together that he could only focus on one of her eyes at a time. “You want me to take care of him?” It was unclear to Kanan what that would entail, but he was certain he could find a way to make sure the man got the message.

 

“No!” She shook her head. “He’s obnoxious and annoying but occasionally useful. And sympathetic to our cause. I just want to avoid him.”

 

He was about to protest when Hera cut off his reply with another kiss. Kanan could get used to her silencing him with her lips. As he kissed her back, half of his focus was still on the action behind him. He could make out Khrast’s voice and laughter but no words.

 

Hera’s hips grabbed his attention as she ground against him. He wanted to be even closer to her. He pulled away enough to grip her waist, lifting her up. She responded by wrapping her legs around his hips, locking her feet together. He pressed her against the building, his hands under her. He was sure he had never touched that particular spot on her body. He would have remembered how that felt.

 

He broke away from her mouth to trail kisses down her neck. Hera’s hands had completely loosened his hair, and the wind was blowing it around their faces. This new position allowed him to hear Hera’s contact speaking better. It also gave him better leverage to push against Hera’s hips. When he rocked against her a couple of times, and she hummed, he continued the motion in an unhurried rhythm.

 

Kanan stilled when he heard Khrast begin to move, concerned the man had spotted them. Hera’s nails dug into neck, urging his attentions back to her. She was doing her best to maintain their movements despite not having the same leverage. Kanan kept rocking and nibbling Hera’s neck, while the sound of the man’s footsteps faded.

 

Kanan chanced a glance over his shoulder. “I think he’s gone,” he said into her neck.

 

Hera said nothing.

 

“Hera?”

 

Hera's movements quickened. Kanan felt her grip tighten on the back of his neck before she stiffened. A tremor rippled through her body, and she sagged against him.

 

Kanan completely forgot about the man he was tracking and instead was dumbstruck by a sudden realization. “Wait... Did you just…?”

 

She had been so quiet. 

 

She rested her forehead against his shoulder, her goggles digging into his collarbone. “Yes,” she said between ragged breaths. It sounded like a confession. “Wasn't expecting... that…”

 

Kanan became aware that his mouth was open. “But I wasn't paying attention…” There was no disappointment in his voice. Only wonder.

  
  


Hera recovered enough to give him a long kiss. “I forgive you.” He didn’t need to see her know she was smirking.

 

Her legs loosened their grip on his waist. He held her close as she slid down his body. She clutched at his shirt as her legs wobbled for a second.

 

Hera stopped him as he began to move away. “Are you clean?”

 

He stopped confused. “Uh, that's not how it works.”

 

He looked at her wondering if he had made the wrong assumption about her experience. “We’re both fully clothed. You can't get an infection from dry humping. You know that right?”

 

She gave a nervous laugh and looked down. “I meant for later. You still want to get a room?”

 

Relief flooded Kanan. “Yes! I didn't... I wasn't sure... yes, a room!”

 

“And are you?”

 

Kanan looked blankly at her, still caught up in getting a room, before he remembered her question.

 

“Yes. I thought you knew that. You’re the one that had me get a physical.” He said. And it was true. She had made him get a complete checked out shortly after he had joined her on the Ghost.

 

“And you’ve used protection since then?”

 

“I haven't had sex since then,” he said. Well perhaps with his hand, but for Hera's purposes, it was the truth.  “You?”

 

She nodded. “I’m good.”

 

“Contraceptive?” He asked, figuring if they were discussing this now then this was s good a time as any.

 

“We’ll need it. But room first.” She was smiling in a way that made him want to kiss her again. “C'mon.”

 

Kanan followed, trying to keep the grin from taking over his face.

 

But the next inn was a bust as well. Kanan attempted to keep his panic in check when the man behind the counter gave him the news. It was a busy night in town.

 

Kanan and Hera had to walk single file to get through the common room of the last inn. With a sinking feeling Kanan made his way through the crowd, looking for the proprietor. Hera took a seat at a table.

 

“We’re full up. Sorry, bud,” the old man behind the bar said.

 

Kanan swore under his breath and glanced at Hera. She was sitting patiently, studying the crowded room.

 

Waiting for him to find a space for them to make love.  

 

It was that image that made Kanan ask the man, “Listen, do you have anything to rent out? The other inns are full too. Maybe something you don’t need tonight, but it’s got four walls and a door? We aren’t particular. A backroom? A storeroom? A broom closet? I’m happy to pay a regular room rate.”

 

The old man followed Kanan’s look towards Hera, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Well…” The man paused considering. “I might…” He trailed off, shaking his finger as if he was considering something. “Give me a sec and I’ll see what I can do.” He moved from behind the bar towards a back door.

 

Kanan slapped his hand down, grateful for the old man’s help. “Thank you!” He was hopeful that they would get a room and praying it wasn’t as bad as some of the places he had stayed. There was probably a limit of what Hera could put up with.  

 

He headed back to where was she was sitting, a large booth where the previous occupants’ detritus had yet to be cleared.  But Hera was gone. He scanned the rowdy room but didn’t find her. He frowned as he sat down in the empty booth, figuring she must have gone to the fresher.

 

Kanan ran his hands through his hair as he kept scanning the room. His hair tie was long gone, and old habits were hard to break. In looking for Hera, he missed seeing Khrast approach

 

“Mind if I join you. Every place is packed.”  The man said as he slid into a chair at the end of the booth next to Kanan. He groaned inwardly when he finally made the connection. 

 

Kanan had a brief moment of panic as Khrast’s hands grabbed his knees. Kanan jerked away before he noticed the man’s hands were still on the table. Kanan was beginning to think he had imagined the touch, when they returned, this time, more gently. In fact, a whole body seemed to be leaning against his legs.  _ Hera _ ?

 

The man was going on about the weather and the impending storm. Kanan paid him no attention, instead dropping his hand beneath the table. He caught a glimpse of Hera’s gloves as she squeezed his hand. He guessed she had caught sight of her contact and dropped beneath the table to take cover. This guy must be a piece of work if Hera was going to these lengths to avoid him.

 

Khrast had exhausted the weather topic and switched to checking out the other patrons.  He didn’t seem to mind that Kanan wasn’t participating in the conversation.

 

“Now there is some fine tail,” the man was eyeing a Togruta across the room.

 

Kanan rolled his eyes, then suppressed a gasp as Hera spread his knees wide. His feet followed suit. He felt her settle between his parted legs.

 

The man glanced at him. Kanan smoothed his face over.

 

“You don’t say,” Kanan said in his best noncommittal voice, trying to keep it from breaking. Hera was running her hands up the inside of his thighs, stopping just short of his crotch. As good as Hera’s attention felt, Kanan wondered if the barkeep would be returning soon. He wanted her to caress him without the distraction of a roomful of people.

 

“How ‘bout you?” Khrast had been going on about something, but Kanan had no idea what it might have been about.

 

A hand was on his crotch now, her fingers gripping him through his pants. He could feel her head pressed against the side of his thigh. Her breath was making a warm spot through the fabric. He closed his eyes and tried to keep his breath even.

 

“No idea. Sometimes you just need to  _ wait _ , and you’ll get a little  _ room _ .” Kanan tried to communicate his intention with Hera but he had no idea if she could even hear him under the table.

 

Khrast looked at Kanan from the corner of his narrowed eyes.

 

Kanan couldn’t suppress the groan when she fumbled with his belt, loosening it before moving on to the button of his pants. The table was large enough that she was in no danger of being seen, but Kanan was struggling to keep his composure.

 

“You ok?”

 

Kanan closed his eyes as she pulled down the zipper. “Not feeling quite right.” It came out in a rush, at the moment before she made another move. His hands splayed on the dirty tabletop.  His fingers gripped the surface as Hera slid her fingers down the front of his pants.  She pulled his cock free as Kanan gasped. The Force help him; she had taken her glove off and was now gripping him with her bare hand.

 

The man was rising and mumbling some excuse about checking on a friend. Kanan ignored him, all his focus on what Hera was doing under the table. 

 

A warm wetness enveloped him. Her mouth. Hera was giving him a blowjob. Under the table. He almost wished he could see it, except he was too distracted by the sensation to be able to dwell on that image. All thoughts of a room left Kanan, and his experience narrowed to what she was doing to him, how her tongue moved. How her hand stroked him. How her lekku draped across his thigh. Kanan was pretty sure he looked like an idiot, with his face slack and his eyes unfocused.

 

Something tugged at his attention through the erotic haze his mind was in. The barkeep was making his way through the crowd towards them.

 

“Hera? You still want that room?” Kanan managed to ask, his voice husky while rising in alarm.

 

He wasn’t sure how she did it, but she had scrambled out beneath the table and was sitting next to him again. He glanced at her, and she smiled back sweetly while pulling her gloves back on. Kanan groaned at the loss of her touch.  He dropped his hands beneath the table, scrambling to adjust his clothing.

 

The barkeep didn’t seem to notice Kanan’s predicament as he approached.“Good news. My girlfriend says I can shack up with her tonight so that you can have my place. It’s out back through those doors. You can’t miss it. Pay in the morning. I gotta get back to work.  Have a good night.” The barkeep slid a keycard across the table to them with a wink before heading back to the bar.

 

Kanan and Hera exchanged glances. Their luck was changing. A room was waiting for them. A private room to do whatever they wanted to do to each other.  

 

“Gimme a second,” Kanan said as he worked to get his breath and desire under control. Hera said nothing but she couldn’t keep the smug look off of her face. 

 

When they made their way outside, fat rain drops were just beginning to fall, landing on Kanan’s face. He was trying to orient himself, looking for an outbuilding of some sort that would have the old man’s room. A small starship blocked most of his view. Hera came to a sudden stop next to him.

 

“What?” he asked, looking around. The distant rumble of thunder reverberated through the air. Ominously Hera remained silent.  

 

The space behind the building was dominated by the ship, a light freighter model that he didn’t recognize. Kanan was reminded of the Escape although this one was a little larger. The ramp was down, and a soft glow came from the cockpit windows. It was an odd place to park a ship, so close to buildings. Kanan wondered if the outbuilding was on the other side of it.

 

But something about the freighter was bothering Kanan.  He finally realized it’s landing gear had been replaced by large blocks which supported its bulk. The engines were removed as well. They were sitting on the ground at odd angles as if they had just been dropped there. In what little light was left, Kanan could just make out what appeared to be flowers growing out of the top of them.

 

This starship was permanently grounded. It had to be their room for the night.

 

“Hera?” he asked tentatively again. He had no idea how she would react. She had been so adamant about a room. About not going back to the Ghost. Maybe she had a thing about having sex on ships?

 

She was quiet for a long moment, and that worried him. He had trouble making out her expression in the shadows until a flash of lightning illuminated her. She had a broad smile on her face. “Ardor,” she finally said.

 

“What?”

 

She gestured to the front of the ship, to something painted on the hull that Kanan, with his human vision, couldn’t make out. “The ship’s name is Ardor. I think it’s meant to be.” She tugged at his hand eagerly,  pulling him towards the ramp. “Let’s go.”

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Kanan had no notions as to how a sleeping Hera would feel in his arms because he never allowed himself that fantasy. So when she fell asleep their nude bodies intertwined, everything felt new to him. And what it felt like was home.

 

And pain.

 

Home was an elusive concept to Kanan. Growing up, there were the dormitories where he stayed with the other Jedi younglings and the halls of the temple he walked every day.  When he became a padawan he graduated to a tiny room he shared with only himself.

 

But mostly when he thought of home he thought of those few months he spent with Master Billaba. Whether it was a Jedi cruiser or a Republic base, it wasn’t the physical space that mattered.  Being wherever she was, wherever they needed to be, surrounded by friends, that was belonging.  It felt like unconditional acceptance and the surety of his role. After the massacre, home was wherever he put his head to sleep. He never allowed himself to feel much of a connection to those places. Or the people he found there.

 

So perhaps it was natural that he felt pain when those emotions of belonging stirred for the first time in a long time.

 

But before Hera fell asleep, head on his shoulder and thigh thrown over his hips, the two checked out the Ardor.

 

***

_ Earlier _

 

The ramp of the ship closed with a hiss. The inside of the Ardor became quiet with the storm locked outside. Kanan tried to ignore the beating of his heart. Tried to ignore how close Hera stood next to him inside this small space. He pivoted, taking in the interior.

 

It was neat and cozy despite Kanan’s fears. Much of the starship’s equipment and partitions had been stripped. There was now room for a tiny galley, even smaller refresher, plus a table. Both the pilot and copilot chairs were gone. In fact, the entire cockpit console was removed. In its place a bed filled the space, the dome of the cockpit windows wrapping around it. The bed was made, with a pile of clean towels at the foot of it. The original lighting still worked. While it might have been too dim for many types of work, it seemed perfect for their intentions.

 

Kanan looked to Hera, hesitating, before the memory of their earlier encounter pushed him towards her. He reached for her hand and pulled her into an embrace, dipping his head to meet her lips. She returned the kiss. It was slow and tender.

 

And brief.

 

“We need protection,” she said breaking it off with a half step backward.

 

“Yeah, that…” Kanan swallowed. He tried to focus on the new task Hera was putting forward and not how her body felt pressed against him. “Hey, maybe there is something around here.”

 

Hera’s eyebrows lifted. “We are not raiding that man’s stash!” But he noticed she was eyeing the cabinet in the fresher.

 

“He did call his home-”

 

“His ship,” she corrected.

 

“It’s not going anywhere.”

 

“His ship.”

 

“Fine, he did call his ship that isn’t going anywhere the Ardor.” He raised his eyebrows hopefully.

 

Hera pursed her lips, considering, then opened the cabinet door. Kanan watched her eyes scan back and forth before she shut the door hurriedly. As if she was less culpable by going through the old man's stuff quickly.

 

“No luck,” she said.

 

“Guess he meant ardor in a passionate about life in a general sort of way,” Kanan grumbled.

 

Hera shoved Kanan towards the ramp, as she opened it. “You’re on contraceptive duty.”

 

“All right, all right.”  He was more than happy to take on that responsibility. He could feel a smile tug at his lips. She was using her bossy captain voice to get him into bed, albeit in a roundabout way. That was a turn on, not something to complain about.

 

“I’ll meet you back here shortly,” she said, following him down the ramp and into the wind.

 

“Wait, what are you going to be doing?”

 

“I’m heading back to the Ghost.”

 

“The Ghost?” Kanan sputtered. “You’ve wanted nothing to do with the Ghost since this,” Kanan gestured vaguely between the two of them.  “Now you want to go back there? Without me?”

 

“Yep,” Hera said with a grin. She darted out into the raindrops.

 

He shook his head. Would he ever figure her out?

 

Closing the hatch, he made his way inside the building. Kanan gave the old man busy behind the bar a thumbs up before heading out the front. 

 

He had seen a promising looking store while looking for the inn. Kanan hoped he was going to have better luck in that department than they did finding the room.  Because if he had to go store to store inquiring, the whole town would know Kanan was trying to get laid. Not just the half he spoke to about a room.

 

But he hadn’t needed to worry.  He scored at the first store he tried.

 

“Condoms?”

 

“Human?” the Dug behind the counter asked.   

 

“Yeah.” Like most things in the galaxy, humans, for better or worse, tended to be the species that set the standard. 

 

“How many?”

 

Kanan blinked. What the man was really asking was how often Kanan planned on making love to Hera. And he realized he hadn’t gotten much past the idea of getting naked with her. Maybe a vague impression of something hot and heavy happening.

 

Considering more than that seemed like it might end the dream state he was in. As if deep down he dare not admit that something had changed. Tomorrow he would wake up and everything would go back to friendly but professional working relationship they had. He was afraid to look too closely at what was happening tonight.  

 

Kanan bit his lip considering. He obviously needed at least one, but then the next question was would they want to do it again? There was no doubt in his mind that he would want to. But what if it was a total disaster and she didn’t want anything to do with him? Or maybe she was just interested in a one-time thing? What the heck did she even want?

 

He had been so caught up with lust. Surprised at the sudden change from friend to romantic interest. He hadn’t worked out what was motivating Hera. He never hid his interest in her, although he had toned down the innuendo and flirting as of late. But maybe she wasn’t feeling the same emotional affection? Could she just be in it for the sex? That didn’t seem like her style but to be honest, he had no information on Hera’s love life. And if that was the case, how did Kanan feel about that?

 

The Dug cleared his throat expectantly.

 

“Uh…” Kanan tried to think. His thoughts spiraled out of control into worst case scenarios and what ifs. He realized he was having a panic attack on how many condoms to buy. “Two and a half,” he blurted out then winced. “...dozen?”

 

The man looked at him in a way that Kanan felt he deserved. “They come in packs of one, two or six,” he said slowly as if Kanan need to have it broken down into simple words.

 

Ok, he could work with this. Only three choices. One was underestimating their relationship. Considering making love to Hera six times made his head explode. Two times would be the safe middle ground one for tonight and one for the morning. Stars, was he even thinking about morning sex?

 

Kanan found himself telling the man, “Six.”

 

He hoped he wasn’t somehow jinxing things by getting that many. Not that six would happen tonight, but he had nothing on the Ghost. Taking a deep breath, he realized that he was hoping that maybe, just maybe, this was the start of something.

 

Kanan gave the man the credits and made his way back to the starship-cum-guesthouse. There was no way of avoiding the rain, so by the time he got back to the ship he was soaked, wet hair and clothes dripping all over the floor.

 

As he shivered, he wondered when Hera would get back. Should he wait in wet clothes? Take them off? The plan would be to get naked some point yet waiting here for her in nothing but a towel seemed a bit lewd even by this evening’s standards. He finally opted for the middle ground, stripping his armor off to remove his top shirt. His black undershirt wasn’t dripping, only damp. He toweled his hair dry.

 

Then he waited.

 

He tried sitting on the bed, but he knew what would happen there soon enough so got fidgety with that reminder. He tried pacing, but the space was too small. When he hung up his wet shirt to dry, he noticed his hands trembled. He jumped at the crack of thunder. It was just a thunderstorm, but he wished Hera wasn’t out in it. That she was back here with him already. He then thought about her returning and saying she changed her mind and how crushing that would feel.

 

If he was honest, doubt was throwing him off kilter. So when Hera finally showed up enveloped in a gust of wind as the hatch shut, he simply stood there.

 

He wanted to taste her lips again. He wanted to feel her legs wrapped around him again. He wanted her kneeling between his thighs again. But he didn’t know how to begin because he wasn't sure if he understood what was happening.

 

Hera knew, though. She didn’t hesitate, leaving a trail of puddles behind her, closing the distance between them. Her eyes met his and she pulled him down to her mouth. 

 

Kanan's breath left his mouth in a nearly inaudible sigh. His eyes fluttered closed, and their lips touched.  Her mouth parted, and she gave his lower lip a nibble. He opened his mouth at her forwardness and invited her to him. She took the invitation. His hands cupped her head, her neck. He was afraid to move beyond this small point of connection.

 

Of their own accord, they broke the kiss off.  Kanan rested his forehead against hers and searched her eyes.

 

“Why did you go back to the Ghost?” he asked.

 

She pulled away and took a deep breath. 

 

“I want this.” At Kanan’s confused look, she gestured between them. “Us. But I have to know that it won’t get in the way of what I'm trying to do.” 

 

She stopped to look at him for a long moment, gauging him before continuing. “So, one,” and she held out one gloved finger, “not on my ship. And two, not on a mission.” 

 

She paused as if she was waiting to see what his response would be. When none came, she continued. “I went to the Ghost to deliver the intel and finish my report. So I could come back here.”

 

Kanan was quiet. She was outlining ground rules for a relationship. Hera wanted a relationship. And sex and… He wasn’t sure what else, but ongoing sex, for sure. She had thought about this. This wasn’t an "oops I woke up extra randy this morning, I think I’ll do a crewmember." She wanted a room because she had made a decision about him. As it sunk in he realized what he was feeling - elation.

 

And something else. On the surface having ground rules about when and where sex was permissible made a certain amount of sense. Well, from Hera's perspective at least. That wasn’t Kanan’s style. But something about it made him uneasy. Was it the particular constraints or was he objecting to something else? Something related but bigger. Something he could put his finger on.

 

He tried to work it out, blinking as he considered. He could always say no. And he then snorted. He could no more refuse Hera than stop this storm. He sighed and decided accepting her terms was a better approach. Especially considering he couldn't even name his unease.

 

“You want a relationship?” he asked, wanting to make sure he got this right, that he understood what she was saying.

 

Glancing up at him with an intensity that scared Kanan, she nodded. That was the look of a woman who had made up her mind. The Force help him. Did he even have a say in this? But Kanan knew it didn't matter. Whatever she wanted he was her man.

 

He swallowed before continuing. “Why now?”

 

Hera’s hands dropped from his neck to his belt loops pulling him into her. Kanan could feel her clothes were even soggier than his were.

 

“You stopped flirting with me,” she said. Kanan frowned, confused. She smiled at the look on his face before continuing. “I thought I knew what was going on. You were pursuing, and I was denying and when that stopped... When there was nothing to resist anymore, I was left with how I feel about you.”

 

“And how do you feel about me?”

 

“You don’t know?”

 

Kanan shook his head no slowly.

 

“How about I show you?” she asked looking up at him through lowered lashes.

 

Kanan swallowed, his head shake turning into a slow nod yes.

 

But the moment was broken by Hera’s teeth chattering.

 

“Sorry,” Kanan said. He had been so preoccupied with understanding that he hadn’t noticed how cold she was soaking wet. “You should get out of those wet clothes.” They could talk later.

 

“Back to your old ways. You always were a bit over the top with your flirting.” Hera said between shivers. “You know, I might heat up if you helped me.”

 

Kanan’s hands were instantly pulling at the fastening for her top.  His fingers skated around the edges of her armor several times, before he growled in frustration. “How the heck does this thing work?” Hera showed him how it hooked on, and then yanked her gloves off, dropping them to the wet floor. Her hands pulled Kanan’s undershirt out of his pants then slid underneath. She laughed when he let out a yelp at her cold fingers on his belly before tugging the shirt over his head.

 

Kanan felt a rush of happiness at her laughter and on impulse kissed her again, fumbling with the belt that was keeping her flight pants on. When she shivered again, he stopped to peel the wet clothes down her legs.

 

If her skin hadn’t felt so cold under his hands, he would have lingered at this stage, sliding and caressing and touching. But he felt the cold as well. Instead, he maneuvered her to the only chair so that he could tug at her boots. Kanan placed her blaster carefully on the table, before stripping the rest of the flight suit down.

 

He moved onto his clothes, removing gloves, boots, and holster. He caught a glimpse of Hera’s back, now stripped down to her underwear, disappearing into the fresher. He shed his shirt and pants, discarding them in a pile on the floor. There would be time later to get them dry. He heard the shower turn on and followed Hera into the tiny space, his breath quickening in anticipation.

 

The light in the fresher was bright, and he marveled at how much green skin he could see. He had never seen Hera without her pilot’s cap, and that was somehow the most arresting. She looked more exposed than he could ever remember. It sent a thrill through him to see her bared, stripped of cultural trappings.

 

Her back was to him as she tested the water of the shower. He rested his hands on her waist a brief moment, her skin cold beneath his fingertips. As She fiddled with the controls. Kanan unfastened her bra, sliding his hands around to cup her breasts.  Her nipples were taut beneath his palms. Whether from cold or desire, it made no difference to his erection pressing into her backside. 

 

Finding the temperature to her liking, Hera pulled away, bending at the waist as she slid her underwear down her legs. She wiggled her ass at him while giving him a lustful look - one he’d never seen from her before. The effect was ruined by her chattering teeth.

 

"Hera," he said his voice thick with desire and reached for her. She had already slipped under the spray. He dropped his underwear and followed her in. The shower was tiny, and Kanan had to wedge himself in. He felt the shower controls dig into his side, but that just meant he needed to press against Hera even more. The warm water and steam felt good after the cold of the rain, but Hera was what was raising his body temperature. They were skin to skin and his nerve endings were buzzing from the contact. It was like touching the divine.

 

Space was so constrained that it made it hard for him to draw his hands back to touch her. They worked through a couple of false starts. Eventually, he discovered that by raising his arms above his head, he could actually stroke her lekku from above. He had known that a Twi'lek's lekku were sensitive, but he still marveled at how she responded to his touch. A small, soft gasp escaped through parted lips as his fingertips trailed down her lek.

 

Inspired he grabbed the soap to use its slipperiness to massage each lek from base to tip. Her eyes were closed now, and she was making low guttural noises with every caress that made his cock twitch into her belly. He had to kiss her again, the water from the shower mingling with their wet mouths.

 

She took the soap, rubbing it across his chest without breaking the kiss. Her fingers skated across his chest, playing with his nipples. She seemed enthralled by the hair on his chest and belly. He stiffened when her hands found the blaster bolt scars at his shoulder and hip, artifacts of the Clone War.  But she did not spoil the moment by commenting.

 

Her soapy hands slid down his hips towards his crotch. He felt himself tighten in anticipation. Overshooting, her palms sliding up the inside of his thighs before slowly rising to cup his balls.. Her other hand maneuvered in the tight space to encircle his cock, gripping him tightly. Hissing at the sudden pleasure, he stopped kissing her to focus on the sensation.  When she began stroking him Kanan was certain she had just shaved years off his life, so intense was his desire.

 

“Good?” she asked. Kanan barely registered the small waiver in her tone. For all the desire he sensed in her, she also had some uncertainty.

 

It was this vulnerable earnestness that made him groan. “Very,” he murmured before leaning in to give Hera a long wet kiss, to assuage any doubt she might have over her actions.

 

As good as her hands felt on him, Kanan’s desire to touch her was just as strong, and he took the soap from her. He would have preferred to his mouth on the parts of his body he wanted to taste, but there was no room to maneuver. He settled for soaping her breasts, cupping them and sliding his hands over them. She tilted her head back, her lekku dangling down her back, her nipples thrust forward. 

As Hera’s hands stilled on him, focusing on his touch, Kanan took the opportunity to place his feet on either side of her, bracing his back against the shower wall. He dropped down a few inches, so he was better positioned for her height. When he pulled at her hips, his cock nudged at her clit, before sliding between her closed thighs. They moaned in unison. Hera rested her forehead on his shoulder. Kanan could feel her butt clench beneath his hands as she swayed in a slow rhythm, running her cunt over him.

 

“Very,” Hera whispered in response to an unspoken question. Kanan smiled.

 

They both jumped when the water suddenly ran cold, and Kanan scrambled to turn the controls off.  Fortunately, the soap had been rinsed off. 

 

“Did you warm up?” Kanan asked. He was surprised at how low his voice sounded.

 

Hera’s was equally husky as she toweled off. “I’m warm on the outside.” She hung the towel up and left the fresher. “But could use some heat on the inside,” she called from the other room. Kanan hurried to dry off and followed her, hair still dripping.

 

The room was dark now, and he could just make out her silhouette, reclined on the bed. The wind had settled down, and the rain beat a steady drum roll, supported by occasional rumbles of thunder. Drops of water skated over the domed viewport.

 

He was struck by the enormity of the moment. Hera was waiting for him to make love to her. They were both naked. Both full of desire. Both as vulnerable as people could be in the darkened room as it stormed.

 

He knelt before her as she leaned in for a kiss, his hands resting on her knees. She parted her legs for him to bring him closer. His hand slid up her thighs, and he spread her legs even farther before he rested his palm across her cunt. She leaned back on the bed gyrating her hips into his hand. He dropped kisses inside her knee and along her thigh. Kanan switched to using his fingers, making slow, lazy circle over her clit. He slipped one finger in, feeling her wetness then paused, glancing at her face to see how she was responding. She hummed and nodded at him, urging him to continue.

 

Kanan could tell she was aroused by the sounds she made, the flush across her cheeks in the shower, the way her nipples were hard. But feeling how slippery she was as he slowly pumped first one, then two fingers in her was gratifying. He dipped down to place his mouth on her, but she stopped him with a hand entwined in his hair, gently tugging him further on the bed with her.

 

“Later. I want you inside me.”

 

He froze for a split second. The rational part of his brain was singing at the word  _ later _ . The irrational part was stuck on  _ inside me _ .  Somehow he managed to pull enough sense together to reach for the condom he had left nearby. He pulled away to put it on. 

 

In that instant, when the lovemaking spell is broken for an awkward second of practicality, lightning struck not far from the Ardor. The room lit up like daylight. In that frozen moment, he saw Hera spread out in front of him. Her lekku twirled around her head. Her palms were up, and arms were open as if she was a religious figure receiving her devoted followers. Her knees were spread wide, so her cunt was exposed in a vision both innocent and debauched. Her legs wrapped around Kanan as he knelt. As the thunder rolled through the little ship, Kanan was blinded for a brief moment by the bright light. An afterimage of Hera burned into his retinas. One he hoped never to forget.

 

Kanan knelt to kiss her again, but she was pushing herself up at the same time. They met, as in life, in the middle, arms snaking around each other in an embrace. Sensing Hera's desire for more control, Kanan rolled into a sitting position, pulling her with him so that she straddled his lap. His sudden movement was rewarded by a rumble of laughter from her. Part chuckle, part moan.

 

Her hands were now free to roam across his body, and they took advantage of the liberty. Her fingers trailed across his chest before dipping between their legs, gripping him. She rose on her thighs above him; her breasts thrust into his face. He couldn’t help but suckle one nipple and then the other.

 

But competing impressions were vying for his attention. The soft swell of Hera's breasts in his mouth. Her hand clasped firmly around his cock. The bunching of her muscles under his arm as she arched against him. All of it faded from his a mind as she lowered herself onto him by slow degrees, the heat of her body enveloping him. When their hips finally met, she let out a sigh, and he nearly came undone. He groaned, his body making a small jerking motion at the sensation of Hera’s body around him.

 

Time stopped for several heartbeats as they breathed into the awareness of knowing each other in this new and sacred way. They both clutched at each other. Kanan’s arm wrapped tight around her waist, the other supporting himself on the bed. One of Hera’s hands was buried in his hair. The other arm hooked over a shoulder, fingernails leaving indentations on his back.

 

Kanan opened his eyes when he realized Hera’s breath was coming in short little bursts. The movement of air causing the loose hair draped around his face to tickle. He studied her.  Her eyes were closed, but her mouth was parted.

 

“You ok?” he asked.

 

“Mmhmm.” He interpreted that as a yes.

 

She moved first. A small roll of her hips as if to test the waters.

 

Finding it satisfactory she moved again.

 

And again.

 

With her movements she threw her head back, exposing her neck. Kanan felt something hitch inside at how she bared herself. His mouth descended on her skin, wanting to devour her vulnerability. Her lekku flicked across his thighs as she continued with her movements.

 

He kissed her neck and nibbled her jaw line as he slid in and out of her. Each withdrawal a bittersweet moment of loss and hope. And each time she brought her hips down it fulfilled a promise. A dizzying cycle.

 

Her breasts were crushed against his chest. Kanan dragged his teeth along her collarbone before nuzzling her ear cones. She responded with a deep laugh. He stopped kissing as a smile took over, delight in learning of a ticklish spot. Hera went on the offense by claiming his mouth, her tongue running over his own. It was another point of connection in an effort to abolish physical barriers to a shared existence.

 

Kanan began to add small thrusts to her hip rolls. She responded by grinding down when he moved up. It sent a bolt of desire straight through him. Unhinged, he wasn’t sure how long he would last. Focusing on Hera, listening to her, brought Kanan a measure of control.  If he considered too much about how she felt around him, he would be a goner. 

 

Other than the occasional murmur she was quiet, but Kanan could hear her breathing. Whenever he took an extra deep thrust into her body, her breath came out as something approaching a sigh. Their tempo was decadently slow, yet her exhalations came hot and heavy in his ear. He was able to discern her growing passion, something he had missed when she climaxed on the street.

 

She was so close now, and that pulled him with her. Her hips were urging him to move faster, and he obliged. The kiss had broken off, but she was looking into his eyes with a hypnotizing intensity. He couldn’t break eye contact even if he wanted to. Their rhythm was crescendoing. Hera gripped him with a power that was breathtaking. He never wanted to let her go.

 

Hera’s breath seemed to catch, and her body stiffened. As her back arched, Kanan finally released his restraints and came with her. He called out something unintelligible, a gasping declaration to her silent trembling. They clutched each other. Spasms of pleasure rolled through their bodies, a shared sine wave for one rare moment.

 

Kanan was without form or thought for long moments. He had fallen backwards, boneless on the bed with Hera draped across him. It was an intimacy that was exquisite yet utterly natural.

 

“Wow.” Her voice was small and filled with wonder.

 

Kanan could only let out a feeble chuckle.

 

“If I had known…, “ she continued.

 

He murmured something he hoped passed as an affirmation.

 

“You ok?” she asked.

 

He nodded into her neck, not sure his voice would work.

 

She tried again. “You speak Basic?”

 

He gave her a real laugh at that and felt his cock slip from her. He felt disappointment at being pulled into back into reality. Sighing, he shifted Hera off of him and onto the bed. “Be right back,” he murmured, giving her a slow, deep kiss before he left to deal with the condom.

 

When he returned, he caught the glint of light in her eyes as she watched him. The rain was quiet and steady now. Hera had moved under the covers, and he slid in next to her, pulling her now warm naked form to him. Laying her head on his arm, she hugged his hip with her leg and twined their fingers together. Kanan chuckled.

 

“What?” she asked.

 

“Hand holding is typically how things start, not end.” he said.

 

“Who said this was the end?” she said with mischief in her voice.

 

Kanan wasn’t sure if she was referring to the end of their evening or this bigger thing that was happening between them. Either thought brought a dizzying feeling to him. He was glad he was lying down.

 

Hera fell asleep first and leaving him with his thoughts and her beautiful body in his arms.

 

Kanan had had many partners over the years, but he couldn’t ever recall feeling this way. And it struck him that he had never actually known his lovers (and he was being generous in using that word). He had never been with friends with them first. Or after for that matter. He usually knew them for a matter of hours or even minutes. They would fall into bed or find a dark back room to fuck, hopefully in a mutually agreeable way. Then life would go back to normal, to be repeated the next alcohol-fueled evening.

 

But Hera was here, and she wanted something not just for tonight but… more. Kanan felt something that he couldn’t quite name. It was exciting and dangerous. Momentous. And it drew him to her like he was returning home.

 

There was another side to that feeling that was causing him to hesitate, but he couldn’t identify it. Something that touched the core of who he was. Something that he had tried to ignore. Something he had almost but never quite forgotten.  

 

He suddenly recalled a long-ago conversation.

 

_ “Describe what you feel, Caleb Dume.” _

_ “I have questions, Master.” _

_ “Yes, that seems to be the natural state of your mind. But what of your heart?” _

_ “My heart is at peace." _

 

Kanan decided to ignore that questioning feeling for tonight. Tonight he would savor the feel of Hera’s skin on his and the weight of her body in his arms and allow his heart that peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on the next part of the series. It's called _Wherever You Go_. Here's an excerpt:
>
>>   
>  All women might be magical creatures, but Kanan was beginning to think he might have been wrong about Hera. She certainly wasn't a lowly forest nymph. And even a wizard wasn't adequate in explaining her. He had underestimated her. He suspected she might be a demigod, so perfect in every way that mattered. Somehow set above mere mortals, yet still of this world.  
>    
> At this moment she was in the galley. One hand on a datapad, the other was working on making caf.  
>    
> Kanan was sitting on the bench, on the far side of the table from her. Legs stretched in front of him, he leaned his back against the wall. The picture of contentment. Dirty dishes cluttered the table. The remnants of bread and soup were evidence of their shared meal. It wasn't fancy. Kanan's cooking was just passable, but Hera hadn't complained. Plus the company had been fantastic. 
>> 
>> Even with all the unspoken things hanging heavy in the air.  
> 

**Author's Note:**

> I post writing updates and snippets semi-regularly on Tumblr as [MapToWhereIAlreadyAm.](http://maptowhereialreadyam.tumblr.com)


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